In this series, we are going to burn through each division in football and examine the most over-hyped, over-valued, over-owned piece of fantasy garbage to be found. We’ll look at former studs, presumed values, “up-and-comers” and I’ll tell you why each and every one of them is a firm fuck no for me and why they should be for you, too. First up let’s take a look at the one division that at this point should just be renamed, “Brady’s Bitches”: the AFC East. There are three teams of garbage to pick from here, but the particular player that I am choosing to kick us off with is a guy that we have mentioned multiple times on our show. DweezeNutz has had a raging boner over this player since the injury to Isaiah Crowell, and Big Whizz finally caught a sniff of the testosterone leaking from his sweaty balls and popped a stiffy himself. They both went as far as recommending this player as a keeper to one of our faithful listeners at the end of the season, dumbasses. That player is Elijah McGuire and if you haven’t yet, you should expect to hear plenty about his potential and his opportunity over the course of this offseason. Let’s take a look at his game log from 2018 to see why that’s a bunch of hooey. A few things that stand out here. First his yards per carry for 2018 was 3.0. His career rushing average is 3.3. In his highest carry volume games on the year (18 carries each), his average per carry was just 2.3 yards. Those are not acceptable for an NFL running back let alone a starting NFL running back. In comparison, Isaiah Crowell had an average of 4.8 yards per carry on the season before he got injured.
Secondly, let’s take a look at his pass catching ability, which seemed to have been one of his specialities coming out of college and which can do wonders to help us forget a miserable YPC. He caught 19 of 31 targets for 193 yards and a touchdown. That comes in at a whopping catch rate of 61.3%, bad enough until I tell you that he had nearly a 10% drop rate to go with it. The 61.3% is the lowest catch rate among all running backs to start a game in the AFC. Granted Sam Darnold’s completion percentage was a miserable 57.7%, but as a receiving running back, your job is to be a safety valve that a QB can rely on to catch the damn ball. Take a look at his Jet teammate Isaiah Crowell and his 75% catch rate and I dare you to bitch some more about his quarterback’s inaccuracy. These aren’t the only pitfalls Mr. Eli McFuckface will bring to your fantasy lineup. In two out of the three games that he saw 15+ carries, he lost a fumble. And according to Player Profiler, he averaged just 0.7 points per opportunity which ranks him 92nd in the league at the position. With the opportunity and exposure he had to end this season, there will be fantasy players that will overvalue Elijah McGuire this coming season, that target him as a late round sleeper; and there will be “analysts” like my two dipshit compatriots that sing his praises between now and draft day. More power to the dumbasses, but I believe that Crowell is the far better back in NY, Powell is the far better 3rd down back, and it wouldn’t shock me if the Jets look to the offseason to target new running back talent to bolster the backfield. For those reasons and because I am smarter than you, my recommendation is to stay away from McGuire this offseason. Like, really fucking far away. Bullfrog
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorsDweezeNutz Archives
July 2019
Categories |