In this series, we are going to burn through each division in football and examine the most over-hyped, over-valued, over-owned piece of fantasy garbage to be found. We’ll look at former studs, presumed values, “up-and-comers” and I’ll tell you why each and every one of them is a firm fuck no for me and why they should be for you, too. Let’s take a look at the up-and-coming AFC south. Home of the playoff worthy Indianapolis Colts and Houston Texans. Not to mention, 1 win away Tennessee Titans, and 2017's golden Bortles, the Jacksonville Jaguars. On the Indianapolis Colts stands one man whom, as a Detroit Lions Fan, I despise. He finished #4 in scoring and #1 in touchdowns at his position, a position that has been utterly horrendous for fantasy football. Despite a season that seemed to add a name to the incredibly short list of startable tight ends, next year, I will be shouting an enthusiastic FUCK NO right in Eric Ebron’s smug face. Here are 4 arguments that I hope will convince you to do the same. Argument #1 (Tight End Competition) Jack Doyle is still under contract contract with the Colts and, barring injury, will likely be a big part of the game plan again in 2019. Let’s take a look at the 6 games in which both Ebron and Doyle were on the field in order to get a better idea of what the Colts’ play callers wanted to do this year. Yes, Ebron did still get the touchdowns, but I see this as a fluke as Doyle led the way in targets, catches, and yards. There is no denying the touchdowns (here or on the season), but we’ll address that shortly.. Plus, Ebron is a cunt stain. Argument # 2 (Game Script of a Winning team) Let’s face it, the Colts blew donkey dick to start the season. The O-Line was bad, the run game was a barely passable hodge podge of rookie mediocrity, the defense was labeled worst in the league, and Andrew Luck was chucking it 50 time a game by sheer necessity. However by the end of the season, Marlon Mack and a pair of stud rookies, Quentin Nelson (Pro Bowl) and Darius Leonard (Defensive Rookie of the Year) helped make the Colts a damn good (and well-rounded) football team. Let’s take a look at how Ebron fared in weeks 15 through their two playoff games, you know, when the rest of the team could play. Now, these are not embarrassingly bad numbers, but they are nowhere near TE #4 type numbers. And my every expectation is that the Colts come into the 2019 season as the team they finished 2018 as, not the team they started 2018 as, because...duh. Plus Ebron is a douche nozzle. Arguments #3 and #4 (2 game volume HOG and Ebron is Trash) It wasn’t just Doyle’s injury that benefitted Ebron this year. He played in two games this season when both Jack Doyle and TY Hilton were out of the lineup. Here were his stat lines: Ebron did some serious damage here and tallied 24% of his total yardage and 23% of his TDs for the season. Those splits scream inconsistency. It would be great if this kind of opportunity was sustainable for Ebron, but no fucking psychic could have predicted that all of Ebron’s pass catching competition would miss games at the same time, and the likelihood of it happening again (and enough to benefit your whole fantasy season) is exactly zero.
Yes, we know the opportunity was great this season, but did he capitalize? According to Player Profiler, Ebron had a 75% true catch rate which ranked him 35th amongst tight ends in the league and that was in large part due to his league leading 9 drops. What do you think? All in all, Eric Ebron is just not as good as his numbers said this year. He was a recipient of high volume, and injury advantages that just will not happen for him again next season. Now, yes Eric Ebron is a going to remain a draftable 2019 tight end. However, where most of the world will try to ride his 2018 production I will probably have him ranked somewhere between TE10 and backup. That is significantly below his current ADP of TE4, ahead of much better options like Evan Engram, OJ Howard (7), Hunter Henry (9), or David Njoku (8). Or shit, how about the better option on his own damn team, Jack Doyle (17). My fucking advice to you is: Let some other ass clown draft him too early and reap the sweet rewards all season! After all, Eric Ebron is a nothing more than an anal fissure. Bullfrog
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